


i found me a hopeless case

by pressforward



Series: I'll Prepare a Place for You [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alcohol, M/M, One drink it's like one and a half drinks, Penis In Vagina Sex, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-Canon, Trans Kurapika, let me know if there are any other tags I need, listen i'm very. i'm very embarrassed. i'm extremely embarrassed i am never horny on main, no one's good at feelings but least of all kurapika, sorry y'all, this is not. this is not a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-20 23:34:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21290009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pressforward/pseuds/pressforward
Summary: Prequel toWhen You Come HomeCompanion piece toi'll fall for you soon enoughSidenote to everyone who was thrilled to learn they had previously kissed: Here it is! You're welcome.
Relationships: Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Series: I'll Prepare a Place for You [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1534757
Comments: 7
Kudos: 113





	i found me a hopeless case

**Author's Note:**

> WHEW! Technically this has been done since March, but I've just gotten around to editing now, and thought it'd be fun to post on the anniversary of the first chapter posting of 'When You Come Home'! This is a very special smut with feelings extra; knowing what happens in the main fic is not necessary. Timing-wise, this takes place before ‘When You Come Home,’ and is the Black Whale encounter referenced once or twice throughout the fic.
> 
> Title from [‘Sonsick’](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1czCNnPyHlw) by San Fermin. Take a listen for the secret second half of the title ;>
> 
> Series title from ['Casanova'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykcsKvqFPUE), also by San Fermin.

Kurapika ditches as soon as the meeting’s over. Sure he’s supposed to be the Rat, but he was looking a little owly, had a fixed stare on like he was fighting hard to stay awake, a little more snappish when someone asked him a question. 

Leorio catches up with him right outside the meeting room, nearly grabs Kurapika’s elbow, but right before he gets it, Kurapika just turns and shifts his weight back, looks up at Leorio flatly like he’s too busy to be embarrassed for both of them. Then he turns away again, starts walking.

Leorio gets his elbow the second time, though it gets flicked out of his grip. “Wait up,” he says, starts walking with Kurapika down the hall. “What’s the big rush?”

“I have a great deal of work to do.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I’ve got some stuff for you.”

This at least makes Kurapika pause. “Do you?” he says, clearly skeptical.

“Yeah. Gon sent me some postcards for you, way back when. I just haven’t had a chance to get them to you yet.”

Kurapika stays where he is in the middle of the hallway, clearly chewing it over. Then he says reluctantly, “Could you bring them to the next meeting?”

Dumbass. He already knows what the answer’s going to be. “You’re here now, come on. Unless you’ve got some other big plans?”

“Not as such,” Kurapika admits slowly, making a face like it hurts him to even admit it. “No.”

“Let’s go, then. It’ll be quick, I promise.”

“Are you sure--”

“Like that Monkey dipshit isn’t going to try and pull something, come on, are you serious,” Leorio says, rolling his eyes, and Kurapika actually looks up at him, exhaustion dropped like it never happened.

“What do you know?” Kurapika says, apparently invested enough to actually pry.

“Just a feeling,” Leorio says, and it sounds cagey, he knows it sounds cagey, but if he doesn’t have anything solid to back it up, Kurapika’s going to make fun of him. “Who picks the Monkey in the Zodiac anyway? Guy thinks he’s cleverer than everyone else and likes to rub it in. Like he’s up to anything good.”

“Who picks the Boar?” Kurapika shoots back, then shakes his head very slightly. “Very well, then. If you have any substance to your feeling, I’d like to hear it.”

“Let’s go, then,” Leorio says, jerks his head in the other direction and starts walking. “Even I know better than to stand around yakkin’ in the middle of a hallway, geez.”

When he glances back, Kurapika’s nearly right beside him, and he keeps from startling, barely. Guy should make more noise.

“You doing okay? You look tired.”

“I don’t see how that’s relevant.”

“I’m chit-chatting? Why, do you want people to think we’re still on the clock?”

“‘On the clock’ refers to workers with hourly wages,” Kurapika says wearily. “We aren’t even getting paid.”

“I mean, I guess. It’s like a board, right? Did you read the bylaws?” Kurapika nods, though he looks sour about it. Leorio laughs at him, then confides, “I didn’t read the bylaws. It was like eighty pages, who has the time?”

“So you missed the contractual element in section nine,” Kurapika says, cocking an eyebrow up at him, and Leorio halts.

“No? What? No, they wouldn’t. Cheadle would’ve warned me.”

“Mm.”

“Come on, seriously? You’re just messing with me.”

“No,” Kurapika says, whatever weird mood he found suddenly gone. “It wasn’t binding. So I didn’t spare too much thought for it. It is hard to have the time.”

Leorio considers, then stops dead in the hallway when he’s struck by a really ugly thought. “You don’t think there was any sort of Nen in the agreements or anything?”

Kurapika hardly even slows down, just says, “No,” like he’s already answered the question a thousand times and is sick of hearing it. “There was no Nen of any sort in the contract, or the conflict of interest form, and or the actual form stipulating that there was no term to being a Zodiac. If there was, Gon’s father would never have agreed to it, and there would have been no way for these positions to have been vacated so suddenly.”

“Unless--”

“I doubt it,” Kurapika says briskly. Then he says, “Your room is close to here, isn’t it?”

“Why do you know that? Don’t stalk me, it’s creepy.”

Kurapika glances back at him, hands in his pockets as he waits for Leorio to catch up again. Leorio frowns back, mouth setting. Does he know about the pretty much monthly chats Leorio has with Melody? At least she answers her phone. 

“Basically around the corner,” Leorio says. “But you knew that, didn’t you?”

“As a member of the information team, it’s my business to know pertinent information,” Kurapika says, stressing ‘pertinent’ just a little. Just enough to catch. “Which would include the location of all members of the Zodiacs.”

Then he adds pointedly, “I wouldn’t make an effort otherwise. Where you sleep is your business.”

Ah shit, he definitely knows. Whatever.

“Good for you,” Leorio says, then keys open his door and steps inside, presses the panel that activates the light just above his desk. “Glad at least one of us knows what they’re doing.”

Kurapika ignores him, just steps in after, and it’s annoying that he’s still making a point of keeping some distance; the room’s small enough for it to be really clear. No first-rate accommodations for Zodiacs, apparently. Just a bed and a desk and a sink.

“Saiyu?” he says instead, shutting the door behind him.

“Who?”

He heaves a sigh, then says, “The Monkey,” and Leorio snorts. Right. That guy.

“I told you, it just seems like he’s up to no good!” he says, heading to his desk and crouching to rummage in the bottom drawer. He pulls out a little envelope, then straightens, shoving the drawer closed with his toes. “You know that saying ‘sharp enough to cut yourself’?”

“I’ve heard it said, yes,” Kurapika says, but his gaze drops down to the envelope for a second.

“Well,” Leorio says, flicking his wrist to point the envelope at him, just out of reach. “That guy’s heard it too, and he figures he’s _still_ smart enough to either get off scot-free _or_ take as many people down with him as he can. Those kinds of people are the worst. They don’t learn, and they don’t quit. Sound familiar?”

Kurapika just glowers at him. “Not at all.”

Leorio scoffs. “Sure,” he says, folds his arms. “Anyway, that’s just my take. What’s with the sudden interest? You never used to pay attention to gossip.”

“Gossip is information,” Kurapika says wearily, like he’s already repeated it over and over to himself. “Anything that keeps all of us alive for just a little longer is good information to have.”

Leorio chuckles. He can’t help it, it’s just funny. “Whatever gets you through the day,” he says, then hands over the envelope. “Here.”

Kurapika snatches it out of his hands. He’s sure Kurapika would like to _think_ he was being cool about it, but one second the envelope’s there, the next it’s not, and Kurapika has one thumb under the flap before he pauses.

Then he says, “Is he doing well?”

“Yeah,” Leorio says, tries not to let on how his chest aches with it. “Yeah, he’s fine.”

Then he adds, “You can read a couple here if you want. I’m sure you’ve got people trying to find you already. Bet they won’t look for you here, though.”

“They can wait,” Kurapika says absently, looking down at the envelope, holding it gently, if it’s even something that _can_ be held gently. Then he says, “I suppose you’re right,” and sits on Leorio’s bed without even asking. He pops the envelope flap open, but goes still before he pulls any out. 

Leorio gestures for him to scooch over, then plops down to his right. “I don’t think it’s anything bad. I’ve gotten a few, and they’re all fine.”

“I wasn’t worried about that,” Kurapika says, and pulls the entire little stack out like it was a dare. “It’s just… been a while.”

“Would be less a while if you called any. Or texted at all. You have my email, why don’t you text?”

“I don’t enjoy texting,” Kurapika says, surveying the front of one postcard without flipping it over to read the back. ‘Life’s a beach!’ it proclaims, and it’s pretty. Pink sand, palm trees, clear turquoise water. Nice place to take a vacation. “Too much gets lost, and then if you answer, people think they can bother you at any time.”

Leorio scowls at him. “I’d bug you less if you called more.”

“I didn’t say anything about you.” Kurapika’s shuffling through them now, like a kid with a fresh pack of soccer cards. “Gon leaves me voicemails, though.”

“I leave you voicemails, too!”

“About once a month,” Kurapika continues absently, like he didn’t hear anything. He restacks the cards, looks down at them. “Our schedules have very little overlap.”

“Do you ever call him back?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

“I’ll just ask Gon.”

Kurapika glances up at him and scowls, hands tidying the stack of postcards and flattening over them protectively. Then he looks back down and says, “Only once.”

“Just once?”

Kurapika flips the topmost card up, and starts to read.

“Really only once?”

“There wasn’t very much to say.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Do you get these, too?” Kurapika asks him, and Leorio rolls his eyes. Clumsy deflection. It’s honestly embarrassing.

“Yeah, Gon sends me a couple, but we talk more, so it’s only if he sees one he likes. Sounds like he’s having a good time.”

“Mm,” Kurapika agrees, then slides the postcard to the bottom of the stack, flips up the next. One corner of his mouth twitches, and his face almost relaxes. Gon can do that to people. Kurapika shuffles to the next, reads over that one too before he says slowly, smile threatening to break through, “He’s… not a good writer.”

“He’s really not,” Leorio agrees, laughing, and Kurapika glances up at him, expression nearly fond. Then he goes still, and it’s like he flips a switch, shoulders straightening, mouth firming, eyes going distant and hard again. He looks exhausted.

“When’s the last time you slept?”

“None of your business.”

”Don’t be a shit. Have you slept at _all?”_

“Of course I have,” he says, which is bullshit, because he’s got bags for days under his eyes and looks like an after-image of himself even under the warmer room lighting.

“Haven’t,” Leorio says, and Kurapika groans and shuts his eyes, then makes to get up and leave.

Leorio starts, plucks at his sleeve. “Hey no, sorry, hey,” he says quickly. “My bad, I just-- I’m just worried about you.”

Kurapika settles heavily back onto the bed. “I should go.”

“Yeah, I mean, if you really want to. I just thought… it’s been a while. It seemed like you could use a friend.”

“I could,” he admits, tired and slow and grim. Then he says, “You shouldn’t say these things.”

“What, is friendship off the table now?”

_“No._ I only meant… Be careful,” Kurapika says quietly, like he’s not the one who’s spent the past month half-killing himself trying to keep himself and his royal charges alive. Everything that had come down to the lower decks had been too unreal to believe, but the stories only got more outrageous the closer they were to the source.

Leorio eyes him, incredulous. “Careful of what? Of friends? Of _you?”_

“If necessary. I’d like to avoid... using people.”

There he goes again, Mr. Melodramatic. Leorio snorts. “I’ve got news for you: that’s just life. Everyone’s got different connections and stuff they can offer, and you gotta use it to get what you need.”

Kurapika’s looking at him now, considering. Then he says, “That seems harsh.”

Leorio leans back and eyes him. “Seriously?”

“From you, I mean.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I just didn’t think your outlook would be so jaded.”

“Shows what you know about me. I know how people work. It’s not all buddy-buddy, ‘I can be friends with anyone if I just put my mind to it,’ you know?”

“Don’t make fun of Gon when he’s not here to defend himself.”

“What makes you think I’m making fun of Gon?”

“It’s very--”

“Should I tell Gon you just assume I’m making fun of him all the time?”

“You should not,” Kurapika says, scowling at him. “Because I don’t.”

“I could tell Gon _you’re_ making fun of him.”

“You could stop putting words in my mouth,” Kurapika says tartly. “I thought you said we were friends.”

“You didn’t exactly agree,” Leorio informs him, still annoyed.

“We are _friendly,”_ Kurapika says. “Leave it at that.”

“Friends.”

Kurapika just scoffs quietly to himself, then says, “I thought you said people should have something to offer before they were ‘friends.’ What do I offer?”

“Are you kidding me? You’re basically an encyclopedia on legs. You kicked Tonpa in the face one time. You figured out that Nen beast stuff before anyone else even realized Nen was involved.”

“And that’s helpful to you?”

“Are you serious? Yeah kinda, but like. We’re friends. I don’t feel so out of place around you. And Gon. And Killua.”

“You’re not out of place.”

“You think? I dunno. This boat and everyone on it… Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled to be here! This is literally a once-in-a-lifetime chance, but everyone here, all the Zodiacs, the mafia, other Hunters, everyone is just unreal. Crazy strong or super-smart. Usually both. And here I am.”

“You shouldn’t underestimate yourself.”

“I’m just being realistic!”

Kurapika’s watching him. Probably trying to think of something nice to say. Then he looks aside and says, quiet and low, “You have a good heart.”

“Yeah, lot of good that does anyone,” Leorio says bitterly. “Good intentions are bullshit if you can’t back it up.”

Kurapika glances back up at him, face still and unreadable. “Good intentions are much more than many people have.”

“Pfff,” he says, rolling his eyes. “You don’t need to make me feel better. I know what I have to do, and I’m gonna do it. I don’t need to be _nice._ I just need to finish med school.”

Kurapika just sits perfectly still, like some old weirdly offended statue. Then he says, slightly strangled, “You’re much kinder than you think you are.”

“Sure, whatever,” Leorio says, then leans forward to unlock one of his desk drawers to pull out a bottle and two glasses. Not the right glasses, just filched from the mess hall, but they’ll do. “Listen, I’m too sober for this bullshit. You want a drink?”

Kurapika looks at the bottle for a long moment, and for a little, it seems like he’ll just refuse. Then he says, “I would.”

“Cool,” Leorio says, pours them both three fingers of whiskey. Not the nice stuff, just in case it would still get confiscated. But nice enough.

He passes one glass to Kurapika, and sits back with his own, because it’s a nice moment and he might as well try and make it last, and Kurapika just knocks his back, brings the glass down empty.

“Uh.”

“You could do better,” Kurapika informs him, wipes his mouth off with the back of his hand.

“The hell do they teach you in the mob?” Leorio says, still staring, then shakes his head. Whatever. So Kurapika learned to take shots.

“A whole host of unexpectedly useful skills,” Kurapika says, then laughs, and it’s not a nice one at all.

“Okay,” Leorio says. “Let me guess, it’s all stuff like murder, mayhem, and… and…”

“And how to hide the body.”

“You’re kidding, right? Tell me you’re kidding.”

“Am I?” Kurapika says, like he’s being coy.

“Don’t be creepy,” Leorio warns him, glaring, and Kurapika just rolls his eyes, then says, “Did you really bring me here to just read Gon’s postcards and drink acceptable whiskey?”

“I mean, we could just chill. Or talk. Or whatever.”

“Or whatever,” he agrees, looking down at his empty glass. “I feel the same way.”

“Uh?”

“Less out of place. Around you. And Gon and Killua. Things are easier somehow. Easier and a thousand times more complex.”

“Hey, thanks,” Leorio says, then grins, feels it turn crooked. “That’s almost sentimental of you.”

“Oh.” Kurapika tries a smile that doesn’t come out right at all, still not looking up. “Well. I haven’t had much time to be sentimental. Recently.”

“I bet. I can’t believe you’re in the mafia. I mean, I know you said you would, but still.”

“Maybe not for much longer.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m…” He takes a breath, then says firmly, “I’m nearly done.”

“That’s great!” he says, which is not really right at all, but maybe as close as he can get.

Kurapika doesn’t even start to take offense, which is weird. Instead he just leans over to set his glass on the table and says, “I suppose.”

“You looking forward to it?”

“I haven’t really thought about it. I wouldn’t want to assume anything.”

“Well, yeah. It’s a lot. If you ever need help though, or if you don’t know what to do after, you could always come hang with me.”

“That’s generous of you.”

“I haven’t seen you in like a year! It’d be nice to just… catch up. Or just relax.”

“You’re a good friend.”

“Yeah, because I know how to have _fun.”_

“I haven’t been a good friend. To any of you.”

“You’ve had a lot going on.”

Kurapika glances over at that, mouth pulling to the side.“When did you learn tact?”

“I’ve always been tactful! What makes you think I’m not tactful?”

“You blurt out the first thing that comes to your mind,” Kurapika says tartly. “And you never care who it inconveniences or offends.”

“Sorry, hang on, are we talking about me or you? And I don’t,” he says, stung. “Not always.”

“Frequently.”

“Don’t be a dick. I thought you said I was nice.”

“I said ‘kind,’” Kurapika replies, nearly smiling again. “You’re really only nice when you think it’s advantageous.”

“Can you make up your mind whether you’re insulting or complimenting me?”

This gets him a full smile, brief but there. It even reaches his eyes. “It’s not an insult. I find it very relatable.”

“You’re…. nice. Sometimes.”

Kurapika actually laughs at that, behind one hand like he’s trying to keep it to himself. “You needn’t lie.”

_“I_ think you’re nice sometimes.”

“Do you?” Kurapika says, with a tone like he’s said something absurd.

_“Sometimes._ But that’s all you get outta me. Didn’t you have to leave soon?”

“I can stay a little longer.”

“See? That’s nice of you.”

“You give people too much credit.”

“Nah, you’re just kind of a jerk. I’ll take what I can get.”

Kurapika goes still at that, hands in his lap. Then he says, voice tight, “Is that true?”

“No? I mean, you’re snippy, and you have zero patience for most stuff, but-- I’m just messing with you. You know, shooting the shit.”

“I know I haven’t been able to see any of you, I just-- I’ve had so much to do.”

“Yeah, we know. Revenge and stuff. We got through the exam together, so like. You’ve done enough.”

“You really are too kind.”

“Well, listen, I wouldn’t be here now without you, so thanks for that.”

“No thanks necessary.”

“This is getting too serious for me. Come on, lighten up. I don’t want to think about anything right now. It’s too much. Princes, murder, magic monster things, the Dark Continent or whatever.”

“The ghosts of the dead,” Kurapika intones, leaning back as he shuts his eyes.

Well, he’s in a mood. Leorio scoffs, then reaches for the bottle again. “Shut up, you’re creeping me out. Want another?”

“Please,” Kurapika says, pointing to his glass.

He pours. Hands over the glass. Picks up his own.

He drinks half, sets it down, leans back. Give it another ten, and it’ll be good enough for a short buzz. Not bad at all. Just a moment to breathe and see Kurapika before they all go off to what could be their deaths. Just a little bit of time.

Kurapika sets his glass down as well, doesn’t look like he’s had any. His hands are folding over and around each other. Then they still, and he says, “Leorio.”

“Yeah?” he says, glancing over, and Kurapika reaches over and kisses him.

It’s not really a nice kiss. It’s kind of hard and a little toothy, and the angle’s weird because he’s in such a rush, one hand fisted into Leorio’s shirt to pull him close.

Leorio splutters, and shoves him back. “What the hell was that?”

“I’m sorry,” Kurapika says, already scrambling off the bed, shoulders up and voice tight. “I misinterpreted-- I apologize. I’ll go--”

“Hey, no,” Leorio says, grabbing his wrist, then his elbow after Kurapika twists out of his grip. “Hey. Hey! You can’t just kiss and run! The hell are you thinking?”

“I _wasn’t,”_ Kurapika snaps back at him. “It was a mistake, clearly!”

“Oh, so now kissing me is a mistake!”

“You’re not interested!”

“You didn’t even ask!”

“What would you have said if I had?”

“I don’t know,” Leorio says, but he does. He knows. This boat’s so fucking big, and none of them really know where they’re going or even what they’re about to get into, and honestly he would’ve taken anything, or even just cranked a couple out on his own, but… If it’s Kurapika, then that’s just fine.

He lowers his hand, slides it down to Kurapika’s. “Why don’t you try and find out?”

Kurapika eyes him, starts a motion like he’s about to pull his hand away, but doesn’t. Then he looks aside. “If you insist.”

“I mean. If you want to.” He knows it’s a bad move as soon as he says it. Kurapika doesn’t exactly have a great track record on dealing with emotional stuff that’s not directly related to Gon or vengeance. He closes his hand over Kurapika’s and says, “Why don’t you sit down?”

Slowly, Kurapika sits. Then he says stiffly, “I apologize for being presumptuous.”

“You better,” Leorio mutters, and Kurapika rolls his eyes, not sorry at all.

“What would you… like?”

“I dunno,” Leorio says. “I’m down for whatever.”

“That’s specific,” Kurapika says, making a face at him.

Like he doesn’t know. Leorio makes a face back, then settles a hand on his shoulder and leans in. Lips nearly brushing Kurapika’s, he says, “I’m down for whatever you wanna do.”

“You don’t know what I want to do,” Kurapika says, voice low and soft, and he’s nowhere near as subtle as he thinks he is.

“I’ve got a couple ideas.”

Kurapika just looks him over slowly, down and up again. If that’s supposed to be his version of flirting, it sucks; feels more like being measured then being ‘come hither’d at. It still, uh-- It still makes the room feel a little too small. Leorio stays where he is, resists the urge to tug at his collar. Whatever happens, he’s in for an interesting night. Things are never boring with Kurapika around.

Kurapika squares his shoulders, then kisses him again.

It’s still fast and hard and a little desperate, but like. It’s there. He’s there. Leorio’s mouth opens under his, and his hands are already pulling at the buttons of Leorio’s shirt, so determined he nearly pops one.

“Careful,” Leorio says, and Kurapika takes his hands away for a second, then immediately starts trying to peel him out of his shirt.

“Okay, okay!” Leorio says hurriedly, trying to undo the rest of the buttons, which is way harder than usual when Kurapika’s kissing him insistently, hands sliding over his shoulders and arms. He’s uh. He’s not bad at it. Kissing. He doesn’t slobber, and he’s not shy, and once he stops being in such a rush, he’s pretty good about the rhythm or whatever. The give and take. 

Leorio manages to get out of his shirt. When he breaks away to breathe, Kurapika pulls up the hem of the tanktop he has under it, drags it off of him while Leorio tries to make it easier for both of them and nearly gets tangled in the armholes.

Kurapika laughs once, short and sharp and breathless, then manages to get the entire mess over his head and starts working it free from his arms. As soon as Kurapika manages to pull one sleeve loose, Leorio gets one hand on his knee, slides it all the way up to his waist.

Kurapika looks down at it, then looks back and leans in real close. Like really close. Like pores and eyelashes and little flecked patterns in his irises close, and he only gives Leorio a second to try and get his bearings before he has his mouth on him again, kissing him like he needs him. Like he’s underwater, too far down to surface, and Leorio’s got the last tank of oxygen in sight.

Is the last tank in sight. Or the part you put your mouth on. Whatever. Metaphors are hard. Kinda like--

“Take this off,” Kurapika says, already undoing his belt buckle.

Leorio reaches for the top button of his pants, but just gets his hands swatted away before Kurapika does it himself. He doesn’t even get a chance before Kurapika just grabs the belt loops and starts yanking it down. 

“I can do it! Geez!” Leorio says, trying to wriggle free. Then he pauses, and hooks a thumb into his boxers. “All of it?”

“No. Leave that on.”

Sure, that’s fine. He shrugs, slides free of his pants and drops them on the floor, looks up to find Kurapika leaning in towards him again, rest of his body sliding closer.

“Don’t come near me if you don’t take yours off too,” Leorio warns him, tugging on his belt buckle. “That shit’s cold.”

Kurapika makes a little _tsk_ noise just behind his teeth, then undoes his belt, slides it out and drops it on the floor sharp and fast, like he’s glad for it to be gone. He gets his button and zipper undone in two sharp motions, then pushes Leorio back against the bed. 

“Okay, see--” Leorio begins, because Kurapika’s pushing him back the narrow way, and the wall’s cold, and he can think of better ways to arrange his legs, honestly, but then Kurapika follows him onto the bed and swings one knee over his to straddle his lap, and that’s _plenty_ distracting.

“What?” Kurapika says, still not settled all the way down, one hand on Leorio’s shoulder, face stern and tired and piercingly intent.

“Huh?”

“You were saying something.”

“Nope,” he says, tugging at Kurapika’s slacks, gets a flash of waistband. When Kurapika doesn’t protest, he keeps pulling. “Nothing at all.”

Kurapika shifts his weight, lets Leorio help him work his way out of his pants one leg at a time. Then he shuffles up close, still in his dress shirt, and settles his mouth over Leorio’s again. It’s not the sweetest he’s ever been kissed, or the hardest and _definitely_ not the gentlest, but it is plenty nice. 

Leorio settles both hands on Kurapika’s hips, beneath his shirt. When he doesn’t protest, Leorio moves them up along his waist, slowly. He’s got some kind of weird cropped undershirt beneath, heavier fabric than usual, twitches a little when Leorio gets his hands on it, and he takes the hint, moves back down to Kurapika’s waist.

Then Kurapika makes a small frustrated noise into his mouth, takes his hands and moves them back where they were, splayed flat. “Here,” he says, short and breathless. “Just touch.”

“Lemme do you one better,” Leorio says, sliding his hands back down. Kurapika frowns, already starting to protest, but Leorio gets the lowest button on his shirt undone, and he shuts up. Neat trick. He should remember it.

He keeps going up the line, undoes them nicely, even though Kurapika is clearly impatient, biting his lower lip, then fidgeting with his fingers over Leorio’s shoulders. Once he gets it open, then it’s just Kurapika’s binder, of course it was his binder. Just one zipper, nearly close to his skin tone so it won’t show through his shirt. He probably doesn’t take it off enough.

“Hey,” he says, hands flat against Kurapika’s chest, one finger hooked into the top of the zipper. “Can I?”

Kurapika looks at him for a long weighted moment, then takes his wrist and says, “Yes,” pulls it down. He shrugs out of both shirt and binder, and drops them on the floor like he’s done it dozens of times before, but his face is totally red, mouth set in a firm steady line. He’s really-- He’s very--

Leorio puts both hands on his waist and pulls him close, kisses the hollow of his throat, waits for Kurapika to push him away. But he doesn’t. Instead Kurapika just inhales hard and fast, puts one hand on Leorio’s shoulder, rakes the other through his hair, and that’s all the permission he needs to keep going, mouth and tongue working from his throat to the little dip of his collarbone.

He slides his hands up as he works his way down Kurapika’s sternum, thumbs brushing against Kurapika’s tits. They’re probably sore, he figures, so he kneads them. Real gentle, heels of his palms pressing in small circles, before sliding down so he can touch smooth skin, the rising little nub of his nipples.

That makes Kurapika’s breathing get _real_ unsteady, and he shifts forward, then settles right onto Leorio’s lap, legs bracketing his, entire body pressed right up against him. Even through both their boxers, he is so soft and so warm.

Leorio turns his face against him, kissing him again and again, his jaw, his shoulder, his neck, hands roaming up and down his back, eyes shut like it’ll help him remember how this feels later. The strangest, most unbelievable thing is that Kurapika is leaning into him, breathing ragged, hands sliding over his shoulders. When he rocks his hips up, Kurapika gasps, then settles down firmly against him. 

It’s a good fit. He’s a good fit, they fit good together. His chin fits just over Kurapika’s shoulder, and he turns his head to kiss along Kurapika’s neck and jawline, gently work his teeth along Kurapika’s earlobe. No earring today, which is kind of a shame. He likes that earring.

There’s a little tender spot right behind Kurapika’s ear, and he kisses that too, gentle at first, then harder, with a little bit of teeth. When Kurapika gasps, Leorio goes back down along his jawline, then fast and sloppy along his throat. Kurapika does a full-body shiver at that, and it is _nice._

Leorio gets both hands on Kurapika’s hips, thumbs tracing the little divots, then he just lets them roam. Kurapika’s got a good body, all warm smooth skin, good curves, solid muscle. There’s a sudden ridge here, though, just beneath his thumb.

When he glances down, Kurapika reaches down and slides his hand upwards. Leorio frowns, leans further back, catches a glimpse of raised pale skin, a weirdly ridged circular pucker, edges still stark. “Hey--”

“It’s not your concern,” Kurapika tells him, slides two fingers beneath his chin, starts to tilt it up.

Leorio jerks away, starts to bend down again. “Like hell it’s not! What exactly--”

“Leorio!” Kurapika snaps, and he pauses, glances up. Kurapika has his mouth set flat, left hand tight around Leorio’s wrist, eyes hard and unreadable. Then his mouth softens, and he says, “Not now.”

Leorio scowls back at him, starts to pull his wrist free, and Kurapika grabs after him again. “Please,” he adds quietly. “Not right now.”

“Later?”

“When there’s a better time.”

“Fine, then,” he mutters, hand settling on Kurapika’s waist again. “Keep your secrets.”

Kurapika stays still for a little. Leorio glances up, and he’s still there, sitting back and watching him like he’s trying to measure something in his mind. He must figure it out, whatever it is, because slowly, he reaches up and takes Leorio’s face in both hands, then leans forward and kisses him again.

This time, it could be sweet. But mostly it’s a dick move. Leorio doesn’t give him much back, but doesn’t pull away either, because Kurapika kissing him is still nice, and that’s probably a dick move too.

Kurapika doesn’t give up though. Maybe he eases up a little, but he keeps kissing sweet and insistent, adding in a quick scrape of teeth to his lower lip, just a slight brush of tongue, and Leorio gives in, pulls him close. Kurapika squirms right up against him, eyes shut, mouth opening like this is something he missed, like he wants it bad. As if.

Leorio keeps kissing him back, doesn’t think too hard about it. Not much to think about. Kurapika’s here, close, and safe with him, and right now, that’s probably about as good as it gets. He still has a couple ideas on improving the situation, though. Kurapika insistently resettling himself in his lap is sort of helping.

“Hang on,” he says, and Kurapika complies, barely, sitting back and breathing hard as Leorio leans over to fumble around in the top drawer of his desk. He pulls out a mixed handful of condoms and assorted little sample sizes of lube, filched from the medical supply, because he might as well. He’s part of the potential patient pool, too.

“Just in case.”

“That’s optimistic.”

“Really? Fuck you.”

“You wish,” Kurapika says, soft and savage, then kisses him again. He bites this time, almost hard enough to hurt, a quick pinch that leaves his lower lip throbbing.

“Yeah? So what’s your plan? Did you want me to eat you out, and that’s it?” he taunts, then flushes when he realizes what he’s said. There he goes again, just talking shit.

Fuck it. He swallows hard and adds, “Because I can.”

Yeah. That’d be fine, actually. His mouth on Kurapika as he moans, legs over his shoulders, getting to tease him, taste him, build up some really prime wank material for later. Kurapika’s hands tight in the sheets or running over his shoulders or raking through his hair. He wonders if Kurapika’s a grabber. Would Kurapika be cool with him jacking off after?

“No, thank you.”

“Really?” Leorio says, stomach sinking as Kurapika shifts, arm reaching past him. Probably getting up to pull his clothes back on, walk right out the door. “Because I’m fine with--”

Kurapika tears open a condom wrapper and hands the little package to him. 

“Or that’s fine too,” he says quickly, taking it and trying to pull off his boxers one-handed, which is a lot harder with Kurapika’s weight on top of him. Buncha things a lot harder like. Well.

He gets them halfway off before Kurapika rocks upwards once, so he’s pressed flat against Leorio, chest and abs, tits nearly to his chin, and it’s too much. Leorio groans, turns to get his mouth on what could be a breast, could just be Kurapika’s chest, but either way, it’s soft when he first touches, soft when he squeezes, soft when he closes his lips against it and sucks, gentle at first. Then he goes harder when Kurapika doesn’t protest, and harder as Kurapika breathes hard and presses against him.

He stops when it feels like his mouth might fall off, pulling back to take a quick look before kissing the little bruise already beginning to form. It’s cute. Might as well do another.

While he does, he settles both palms on Kurapika’s chest to get a double handful, thumbs rubbing across his nipples which are already firmed up and real perky, and he definitely just dropped the condom. Fuck. It’s fine.

He kisses the whole line of Kurapika’s sternum, and sure, he’s not Melody, but this close, he doesn’t have to be. If there was a right time, this is it, because Kurapika’s heart is pounding, face flushed, breathing heavy, and he is _dripping_ wet.

Leorio shifts, resettles Kurapika on his lap, and he’s not like, actually dripping, but it is getting a little swampy, and he has been _hard_ since before Kurapika took off his shirt. Kurapika rocks against him, catches against him just right, and he groans. Could stand to lose something.

“Take this shit off,” he says, mouth against Kurapika’s skin. 

“Put this on,” Kurapika retorts, folding his hand over the condom, and he takes it.

He has to take his hands off Kurapika to fish the condom out, which is a crime, then he has to push Kurapika back off his dick to get it on, which is another crime. But it’s worth in the long run, probably.

Kurapika steps fully back, then leans forward to pull Leorio’s boxers the rest of the way off. He does it slow, then lets them drop and stands there breathing fast, expression guarded. Then he says, “Don’t look.”

“You just got an eyeful, and I don’t?”

Kurapika glowers at him, doesn’t budge. “I said ‘don’t look.’”

“Sure,” Leorio says, shutting his eyes, turning his head aside for good measure. “It’s just weird, you know. You don’t give a shit what people think about you, but then when you have to take your clothes off, you get all worked up.”

“I don’t see how that’s an issue.”

“I’m just saying.”

“Have you ever considered saying less?”

“Literally not ever. Can I look yet?”

“No,” Kurapika says, which is agony because he is definitely getting back onto the bed.

“Seriously?”

“Yes,” he says, puts one hand over Leorio’s eyes.

Leorio bites his lip, breathes in hard through his teeth, then says, “This feels like it’s taking a turn, and I gotta say, you _have_ to tell me if I’m gonna need a safe word.”

“Would you like a safe word?”

“No,” he says, and it comes out strangled because Kurapika’s other hand has settled itself on his dick.

Kurapika goes still. “‘No’ as in that’s your safe word, or ‘no’ as in you don’t want a safe word?”

“I don’t want a safe word I want to see you right now,” Leorio gasps, then adds desperately, “Please keep touching me and _please let me touch you.”_

Kurapika doesn’t say anything, and Leorio rolls his hips forward, which makes Kurapika’s hand tighten instinctively, and that feels good. He should do it again.

Then Kurapika says, “Very well,” and drops his hand. 

Leorio opens his eyes, rubs them a little in the light, but then there’s Kurapika, very naked and practically in his lap, and that’s. That sure is something. He doesn’t really know what he did to deserve this, but he’s definitely going to let it keep happening.

“Cool,” his traitor mouth says, because it’s an idiot. “Awesome.”

Kurapika just gives him a look, vaguely disbelieving, almost confused, then says slowly, “Thank you?”

“Yeah, no, I mean-- It’s not really like that, I’m just--”

Kurapika still has one hand on his dick, expression steadily getting more skeptical, and really the whole thing is going south real fast.

“It’s just a thing you say! When things are going well, it just came out--” he’s saying, then cuts off mid-sentence to gasp as Kurapika’s thumb rubs over the head of his cock. It feels a little different through the condom, but it’s still enough. More than enough, as Kurapika wraps his whole hand around him and starts to pump slowly up and down, not tight at all, but firm.

He shuts his eyes, biting his lip. He wants to watch, but mostly he just really wants to keep feeling this. “That feels really good,” he manages, head dropping back. _“God,_ Kurapika. That feels so good.”

Silence. Then Kurapika says, “Cool.”

Leorio chokes, then starts laughing, sitting back up to look at Kurapika-- and actually that feels really good, and Kurapika’s not stopping and that’s even better. “You smart-ass!”

Kurapika just glances up at him, not quite smiling, not yet, but definitely making fun of him. Leorio’s nudging up into his hand, trying for just a little more contact, when Kurapika says, neutral and measured, “You wanted to touch me?”

“Yeah,” Leorio says, puts his hands on Kurapika’s thighs. “I do. Here okay?”

“Anywhere,” Kurapika says, but he seems distracted, gaze down on his hand, on Leorio’s dick. “Leorio?”

“Go for it,” he says, swallows hard. “Seriously. I’m down.”

Kurapika lifts up on his knees, one hand down between both their legs, cupped beneath Leorio, and then he just… eases on down.

“Fuck,” Leorio says, can’t play it off, he knows how unsteady his voice is.

“Hold still,” Kurapika says, breathing hard through his mouth. Then he shifts his hips, knees spreading on the bed, and pushes all the way down against him.

_“Fuck,”_ he says again, and Kurapika laughs a little, small and tight and uneven.

“That’s the idea.”

Leorio gets his hands over Kurapika’s hips, tries to wriggle his own up while pulling him down. Kurapika grabs his wrists, fingers tight. Then he slides his hands to Leorio’s elbows, draws them forward, then cups one hand around the back of Leorio’s neck.

“Can I--”

“Be patient.”

Kurapika has both hands braced on his shoulders, gaze flicking up to meet his. They could stop now. They could just call it quits right now, put their clothes back on, and Kurapika could just disappear right on back to his room.

Leorio looks back at him. He would really like it if they didn’t stop now. He rolls his hips up, slowly, and Kurapika’s mouth drops open for a little moment before he bites his lip, resettles his hands on either side of Leorio’s face, says, _“Leorio,”_ like it’s already something unbearable. 

“Yeah?” Leorio says, shifts his hips upwards again, just a little nudge this time, and Kurapika inhales unsteadily.

“Yeah?” Leorio says again, when he doesn’t answer. “This okay?”

Kurapika doesn’t say anything, but he does lean forward and put his mouth over Leorio’s to kiss him deep and wet and needy. Like he’s trying to dig an answer out of Leorio so he doesn’t have to use any words of his own.

Then his hips start moving. Slow at first, while Leorio’s still busy kissing him back, both hands hooked behind his knees to help keep him steady. Then Kurapika puts both his own hands over Leorio’s shoulders and hauls him close and just goes for it.

He’s like, okay. He keeps a good pace, and it’s really nice for the first few minutes. But then he just keeps at it, doesn’t shift at all, even when Leorio gets both hands on his hips, makes a couple suggestions in his ear, tries to shift a little to find something that works for both of them. Seems like he actually tenses up, gets a little stiffer. He’s distracted. Or maybe nervous.

“Hey, can we switch?”

Kurapika stills, pulls back slightly to eye him.

Quickly, he adds, “Not that this isn’t fine! I just-- I kinda-- You seem stressed, so I thought--”

Kurapika raises his eyebrows. “What does that have to do with it?”

“I don’t want you to worry about anything.”

“It’s a bit late for that--”

“Just for now, at least! You know what I mean.”

Kurapika’s still watching him, eyes darkened and wary.

“I mean. It’s cool if you don’t want to,” Leorio says, but Kurapika is already sliding off him, one hand braced on his shoulder, other holding the condom in place. Leorio bites his lip, says, _“Fuck,”_ and Kurapika is settling beside him on the bed, pushing at him. Not a whole lot of space for two people, really. 

Easy fix. He raises himself on one elbow, then over so he’s bridged over Kurapika, who watches him do it, shifts beneath him, then takes hold of his hips. 

“Here,” he says, pulling Leorio down to meet him, and it’s easy from there, Kurapika’s hands guiding him in.

He pushes all the way in, and Kurapika rocks up to meet him, eyes shut, mouth parted, hands steady on Leorio’s back. Leorio pulls out a little, then in again for just a small nudge, tries a few in a row to see what that gets out of Kurapika. Not too much, just a few shifts and a sigh, but he starts to squirm when Leorio goes to pull a little further out. So that’s sensitive, then.

Couple more tries with that, and he thinks he has a pretty good idea of where to start. Honestly, the better he gets Kurapika feeling, the better he’s probably going to be feeling, too; he’s always been good at figuring this shit out. As long as he knows when something isn’t working, it’ll be fine, and Kurapika’s never been shy about saying what he doesn’t like.

Leorio leans down and kisses him. “I’m gonna take good care of you,” he says, voice low and uneven.

Kurapika just looks back at him, eyes half-lidded and mouth flat, skeptical. “We’ll see about that,” he says, which are big words from someone whose hips keep twitching up.

Not like, a lot, because he probably thinks he’s not moving at all. But a little goes a _long_ way right now, and Leorio scoffs and says, “Whatever you say,” and gives him what he wants.

Kurapika’s head goes back when he pushes in, hands coming up to his shoulders. He has his eyes shut, teeth pressed into his lower lip. Which is a great look on him, honestly, so Leorio does it again. And again. And again, deep and slow, until Kurapika grumbles, hips shifting as he hikes his legs up, one arm hooking around the back of his neck.

Then he turns so his mouth is right against Leorio’s ear as he says softly, “You could at least _try_ to surprise me,” trying for disdainful, but it comes out all uneven.

“Didn’t take you for a fan of surprises,” Leorio says, not really listening for a response, but Kurapika says, “I can make an exception,” and wriggles up closer against him, and oh he feels _nice_ like that, thighs right up around his waist, and Leorio pulls back, pushes in shallow, just to tease, and Kurapika’s mouth drops open a little before he snaps it shut again.

Then he says, _“Fuck_ you,” sharp and savage, tries to yank Leorio closer, fingers digging into the small of his back, and Leorio laughs at him, breathless.

“Guess wishes really do come true,” he says, which would be _such_ a good line if his voice didn’t shake partway through. Kurapika makes some noise that's either a laugh or a groan, then pulls his face down, mouth closing over his, and that’s also good.

Really, it’s all good. The way Kurapika works against him, legs tight around his hips, entire body pressed against his, tongue searching out his in his mouth. He’s got a good core, he has to, he needs it for all the action movie bullshit he gets up to, and he’s putting it to _real_ good use right now.

He’s soft and tight in all the right places, and when he rocks, it is fucking beautiful, he is fucking beautiful, face flushed and scrunched, hands roaming all antsy with want, mouth panting open against Leorio’s. It’s easy to get lost in him, so Leorio does.

He feels so good under Leorio’s hands, smooth skin, small tits, and little blossoming red and purple marks across his chest. Harder to leave one on his shoulders, but Leorio tries.

Then Kurapika plants his lips right on Leorio’s neck, and he sucks _hard,_ doing something where he alternates between tongue and teeth in that tiny circle of suction. Leorio groans, body curling in and driving his hips _down,_ which makes Kurapika shudder, so he keeps doing it, until Kurapika bites him, like a stupid sexy vampire. Or like a little weasel. Something sharp and ornery. Not to be reached after in a dark tunnel.

It could’ve been a warning, but then Kurapika’s pulling him close, elbow hooked around the back of his neck, legs tightening against him. That, and he’s gasping now, eyes screwed shut, back arching as he twists against Leorio, meeting him every time. 

Leorio slides a hand to the small of his back, smooth and sweat-damp. He just wants him close. _Real_ close. Maybe a little closer, even. He starts thrusting harder, faster, and Kurapika cries out, once, turns his face against Leorio’s neck. Kurapika’s pressing closer now, back arching, and it feels good, so good, and Leorio kisses his forehead, then eases up for a second to fuck Kurapika deep and slow, because this is something to hang onto for a while.

Kurapika with his teeth clenched like he’s trying to keep quiet, and it’s real easy to think about Kurapika jacking it like this. Maybe in his fancy guard suite. Maybe in a ratty hotel on some mafia stake-out. Maybe traveling alone in the woods. Maybe right next to him in the woods on the middle-of-nowhere island they all got dumped on during the exam. Maybe a few nights ago in a room a lot like this one.

He pulls back, gasping, because up that close is good, but he wants Kurapika’s mouth again, he wants a little bit of tongue, and he just wants to see Kurapika like this, and he nearly pulls all the way back because Kurapika’s looking back at him, eyes gone full-on spooky red. That shit never means anything good, but no way he would pull anything now. He wouldn’t. 

Still, though. Still.

Hard to know what to say.

“It’s not--” Kurapika begins, and he’s already shifting back, expression closing, and Leorio gets one hand behind his neck, other at his hips, face real close but not enough to touch, and says, “Want it?”

Kurapika stills at that, mouth still half-open as he tries to figure out the next part of whatever he’s saying, but then he shuts it, licks his lips, and says quietly, “Yes.”

Then that’s easy. Just rock in slow, once, twice, until he shivers a little, mouth barely dropping open, and then pick up the pace. Maybe they don’t get right back to where they left off, but it’s close enough. Kurapika doesn’t seem to mind at all, sweat-slick with his head thrown back, breathing harsh and uneven, and that’s really what matters.

He should’ve been fucking Kurapika brainless since the first day they met. Might’ve been hard, since they did try to murder each other. He thought it was what they were supposed to do. The exam was supposed to be about winning, and the easy street. Not making friends and… whatever this is. Not that he’s trying to kid himself about what it is, or might end up being. It’s just nice.

Maybe Kurapika agrees, maybe he doesn’t, but it’s a moot point. They’re having a good time now. Whatever’s going on with Kurapika must be really something, because his head goes back, whole body arching, and he gasps, a huge hard puff of air and a tiny thread of sound.

He is so _tight_ around Leorio now, tight and wet, or at least he _sounds_ wet, and it’s getting damp down there past the condom. Then he grits his teeth and pulls Leorio down hard, elbow around the back of his neck and legs wrapped over his, hands raking through his hair.

That’s fine. 

Leorio gets both hands on his hips, yanks him close and just fucks him, hard and deep as he can go. Kurapika jolts against him, jaw still tight, but there was a little tiny whimper somewhere way back in his throat, like he was trying to keep it on lockdown. He doesn’t let up, doesn’t pull back so far, because if that’s what’s got Kurapika feeling good, he might as well stick with it.

Then Kurapika jolts again, legs squeezing as he spasms tight around Leorio, clenching and unclenching, and that’s the best bit. It’s really hard to replicate, so it’s best to just have a good time with whoever’s around. Everyone has a different reaction, and a different way of handling it.

Kurapika is weirdly quiet. He doesn’t have to be, and he bites back a moan whenever Leorio makes him feel especially nice. Nothing loud, though. Like he’s still holding back.

Leorio fucks him through it, hard and fast, because he looks so _good_ like that, and somewhere between Kurapika pulling him down, mouth open like he’s about to say something or go in for another sloppy kiss, and Kurapika’s thighs hiked up over his hips, squeezing tight and his ankles crossed like he’s trying to pull Leorio closer and closer, he fucking blows.

It hits him like a goddamn sledgehammer, but in the best way possible. Just a sudden stupefying instant of pressure and release, from the base of his spine all the way up to his skull. He’s folded over Kurapika, groaning as he gets those last thrusts in, and Kurapika’s already reached up, slid his tongue into Leorio’s mouth.

Leorio obliges him for a few passes before he gently disengages, kisses the side of Kurapika’s face instead. He’s still braced over Kurapika, not super-sure where he should go, but not really worried about it either. Mostly he just feels kind of boneless and soupy, like he could fit whatever container someone wanted to pour him into, but mostly he just wants to stay right here. Maybe lying down instead, though.

When he goes to pull out, Kurapika makes a little protesting moan, clamps one hand right on his ass, face pressed against Leorio’s neck. Sure. Cool. He’s still rocking a little, legs locked tight around Leorio, and that’s fine. Leorio bites his lip, tries to breathe deep. It’s fine for now, but if Kurapika keeps going, it’ll be too much, he’ll be overstimmed and too sensitive, totally useless for another half hour.

“Kurapika, hey,” he says, breathless, but Kurapika’s head has already gone back, and he’s gone tight all around him, and it’s _a lot._ In a good way probably, but still. A _lot._

Then he’s uncurling slowly, panting, and Leorio kisses him, the side of his face, his jaw, his throat, kisses him and never wants to stop. Kurapika groans and puts one hand over his mouth, and Leorio kisses that too. 

Kurapika presses his hand tighter and says, “Leorio, _please,”_ and Leorio sneaks one last kiss to his fingertips, then stills. He’s gone soft already, and it’s not gonna be comfortable for much longer.

“Pulling out,” he says, and Kurapika just nods and pats his shoulder, eyes shut and head dropped to the side. Leorio keeps hold of the condom as he goes, and Kurapika tenses a little towards the end, head rolling on the pillow, then relaxes and sighs, eyes still shut.

Leorio drops the condom on his desk, then braces his arms so he doesn’t totally squash Kurapika. “Hey.”

Kurapika starts to say something, then swallows hard, says, “Yes?” while trying to sound impatient, but it comes out breathless. 

“Push over a little, I wanna lie down.”

Without a word, Kurapika rolls to his side, scrunches backwards until his back is nearly to the edge of the bed. Leorio settles in next to him, tries to give him some space but there’s not exactly a lot to work with. He wriggles, grumbling, then finds something that at least works. 

He’s on his side, crammed up against the wall, Kurapika in front of him, not quite touching with a hand beneath his head. This sure is some kind of something. He’s not really sure what kind yet, though.

“So, uh--”

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Kurapika says quietly, eyes shut. He shifts, rearranging his arm beneath his head, jabbing Leorio in the chest with his elbow in the process, then adds, “I would prefer not to.”

“I was gonna say ‘Do you want me to turn off the light,’” Leorio says, which is a lie, but if he says it like he’s sulking, Kurapika might buy it.

“Go ahead,” Kurapika says, doesn’t sound like he cares either way.

Leorio reaches over and tries not to squash him. The angle’s kinda awkward and the lamp’s a little farther than it usually is, but he still manages to turn it off and settles back on the bed.

Some of the tension is back in Kurapika’s shoulders. Probably he’s about ready to leave and just didn’t say anything.

“I know you probably wanna go, but you can stay if you want,” Leorio says quietly, and Kurapika jerks his head back to stare up at him, mouth clamped tight but eyes wide open.

Still red. What was it Kurapika said? Something about emotions? It’s almost always because he’s pissed, though. He doesn’t look upset, but…

“Hey,” he says, stroking the side of Kurapika’s face, easy to find. “You okay?”

Kurapika stays completely still, then he says, “Fine.”

It comes out tight and uneasy, and Leorio frowns. “You sure?” he says, levering himself up a little more, hand turning to cup Kurapika’s cheek, but Kurapika just grabs it before he can, clutches it tightly.

“I am perfectly fine.”

Then he turns so his back is to Leorio, grip still tight on his hand. Carefully, Leorio shifts so the crook of his elbow settles more comfortably over Kurapika’s ribs.

“You gonna stick around for a little?”

“A little.”

“You can stay as long as you want.”

“That’s very kind of you.”

“There you go again,” Leorio grumbles. “This is just whatever. People are nicer than you think they are.”

Kurapika doesn’t flinch, but that’s just because suddenly every muscle in his body is on lock-down. Hard to miss, this close. For a few seconds, he doesn’t even breathe, but then he says hoarsely, “You have no idea what people are like.”

It’s stupid, but for a second Leorio nearly pulls him close, holds him tight, doesn’t let him go. Bad idea. The harder people try to hold on, the more Kurapika pulls away. He wants to, though.

“I know what I’m like,” he offers eventually. “And I know what you’re like. And that’s fine by me.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Yeah,” Leorio says. “But it’s nice to think it could be.”

“It’s really-- Leorio. It really can’t be that simple.”

“Don’t think so hard about it,” Leorio says, shuts his eyes. “I’m going to sleep.”

Not a big deal, really. Kurapika here, in his arms, in his bed. Or at least in his almost-comfortable thin shitty assigned cot. It’s fine. It’s normal. He shuffles closer, nearly against the nape of Kurapika’s neck. Just a warm body. Someone to hold. No big deal.

\---

When Leorio wakes up, he’s alone. No more warm steady body in his bed, and no forgotten clothes on the floor, because Kurapika’s are gone and his own have been folded and neatly stacked on the chair. Even the condom wrappers and little lube packets have been thrown out, spills wiped clean. He checks his phone for the time and any new messages.

Nothing.

Well. He’ll see Kurapika again soon sometime. Maybe he just had something to do. Some mysterious Kurapika business to disappear off to, without even telling him goodbye or leaving a note or his email or _anything._

“So this sucks,” he announces to his empty room. Nothing answers.

He sits up, wincing. He’s not like, _sore_-sore, but definitely there’s something pulling along his back and abs. It could be nice, but it just… It’s kind of just pathetic. ‘Area Man Suckered by Someone He Considers a Friend’ again. ‘Area Man Still Pretty Sure Feelings Unrequited.’

Stupid. He should know how it is between them by now. Kurapika drops in for a few weeks, they have an adventure, then Kurapika cuts himself out of everyone’s lives and disappears again.

But still, how far can he go? It’s a giant boat, but how far can he go, really? They still have Zodiac and expedition stuff to deal with, and they talk to all the same people so like it’ll be fine, probably. It’ll all work out. 

Or at least that’s how it seems for the first two days, but by the third, it becomes pretty clear that Kurapika’s still being an elusive bastard. Leorio spends an entire afternoon chatting up Pyon, which she starts by raising an eyebrow and saying, “I haven’t seen him either,” but she’s good company.

He thinks he sees Kurapika down the end of a hallway once. Blonde hair, right height and build, glances briefly back at him, but then the figure turns a corner and is gone by the time he catches up. Another time Kurapika’s coming down a flight of stairs as Leorio’s heading up, just says, “Excuse me,” and brushes past with a stack of files. He doesn’t even smile.

Leorio turns and calls, “You got a minute later?”

“No,” Kurapika says, and keeps walking.

He’s gone by the time Leorio gets to the bottom of the stairs, and there isn’t a trace of him in the hallway. No door clanging shut, no shift in other passengers moving through, no fuckin aura.

“For fuck’s sake!”

People turn to look at him, then just turn right on back. He grabs someone in a crew member’s uniform, says, “Hey, you see a blonde guy come through here?”

She jerks her elbow out of his reach, then gives him a flat look. “Hands off,” she says, surly and a little menacing, and yeah, she could probably fold him into a pretzel if he weren’t _a Hunter,_ but still.

“Like, this tall? Dark eyes, hasn’t slept in a while?”

She just waves him off, already walking away. “Go bother someone else, buddy.”

It’s Mizai who finally takes pity on him and says, “He’s in his room.”

“He what?”

“If he’s not with Pyon, he’s in his room.”

“Pyon says she hasn’t seen him all week!”

Mizaistom just considers him, arms folded, like he’s trying to figure out a delicate situation. Then he says mildly, “Pyon likes Kurapika more than she likes you.”

_“What?!”_

“They bond over being,” Mizai starts, then trails off as he considers, frowning slightly. Then he says, “‘Salty,’” and though he doesn’t actually make the air-quotes, Leorio can hear them just fine.

_“We_ bond over being salty! Me and Pyon! That’s _our_ thing!”

Mizaistom shrugs, then says, “I take it you won’t leave until you have his room number.”

“I was gonna snoop until I found it, but it would save so much time if you just told me,” Leorio agrees.

Mizaistom thinks it over, like really thinks it over. Honestly, he gives it just a little too much thought before he says reluctantly, “I’ll give it to you if you answer one question for me.”

“Okay, shoot.”

Mizaistom points at his collar, which still won’t go high enough to cover the mark Kurapika left on him. “Is that related to why he’s avoiding you?”

“Uh--”

“Remember: I’ll be able to tell if you lie.”

Leorio flushes, hand already slapped over it though that just gives him away. “That’s not your gimmick!”

“You don’t know what my Hatsu is,” Mizaistom reminds him.

“The card thing!”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Mizaistom says, but he’s frowning slightly. Probably didn’t expect Kurapika to blab about it. Not that he blabbed much, but apparently it’s not polite or something.

If polite’s what he thinks of Kurapika, guy’s in for a rude shock. 

Leorio rubs the side of his neck, then pulls his collar up. Time to change the subject. “What odds did you get? Who were you betting against?”

“You knew?”

Leorio snorts. “Like no one gossips in the med bay. Give me a cut next time.”

“I didn’t place any wagers.”

“Well, next time you should,” Leorio says, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Anyway, we had a deal?”

\---

It only takes a couple more rounds of back-and-forth before Mizaistom gives him the room number. Guy could’ve talked circles around him in an actual debate, that’s obvious, but this is outside a courtroom, those rules don’t apply, and he caves easy. Probably one of those softies who talks to Kurapika twice, then decides he’s ride-or-die for him. Idiot. 

Kurapika’s room isn’t too far from the rest of the Zodiacs; guess they consolidated after the bodyguard assignments were over. More efficient that way.

Leorio looks the door up and down (no visible light around the doorframe), then heaves a sigh and knocks. At first, there’s no response, but when he extends his En, there’s the scrape of a chair and the door cracks open so Kurapika can glower up at him.

He glowers right back. “You’ve been avoiding me, what’s going on?”

“I’ve been busy.”

“Bullshit, intel won’t have jack to do until we actually get to the Dark Continent, Pyon’s been complaining for days. Also, covering for you. When did you get to be friends with Pyon?”

Kurapika ignores that part, though he scowls. “What would we have to talk about?”

“Uh, I dunno, maybe this?” Leorio says, pulling down his collar to fully reveal the absolutely giant hickey on the side of his neck.

Kurapika makes a show of looking it over. “Why?” he says, trying to sound disdainful though color’s rising steadily in his cheeks. “Does it hurt?”

“No, it doesn’t--! Seriously? It doesn’t hurt.”

“Good,” he says, in a tone that means he wishes it were the opposite. “Now will you leave?”

“Can we just talk a couple minutes?”

“A few minutes,” Kurapika allows, then waits.

Leorio hisses out a breath, looks up at the ceiling. He didn’t have anything planned, and honestly, this is already further than he thought he’d get. Then he drops his gaze and says, “So. About a few days ago.”

“What about it?”

“I feel like you’re pretending it never happened.”

“It happened,” Kurapika says, looking up at him. “So?”

“So let’s talk about it.”

“What’s there to say?”

“I don’t know! Lots!”

“I have nothing to say on the matter.”

“Well, maybe I do,” Leorio says sharply, then flushes, because Kurapika’s looking back up at him steadily, waiting for him to go on. He got this far, but mostly because he was angry, and now he’s, well. Not so angry. Which is too bad, really. Anger’s easy to make words out of.

“Such as?” Kurapika says when he doesn’t say anything else, expression flat and unimpressed.

“I dunno, like… I like you. Like that. And I liked, uh. You know.”

“Having sex?”

“Not so loud!”

“Are you embarrassed?”

“What? No! I mean. I don’t want-- This isn’t for everyone else, okay? It’s just something I want to talk with you about. Is it okay if I come in?”

“No.”

“Fine! Can I stand here and talk?”

“If you must. One minute.”

Leorio swallows hard. He didn’t plan anything, really. But he’s gotta start somewhere, because Kurapika’s serious about the minute and the second are ticking down. He’s wasting time.

He clears his throat and says, “There’s a… there’s a really good restaurant near me. A few blocks down from my apartment. Or it’s supposed to be good, I don’t know, I haven’t tried it yet.”

“That’s not my problem.”

_“I’m not done!”_ Leorio snaps at him, and Kurapika just looks back at him and says, “Twenty seconds.”

No time to comment on his shitty attitude, which is probably what Kurapika wants anyway, to get him to waste time; he’s absolutely serious about that twenty seconds thing. Leorio grits his teeth, then says in a rush, “I mean, I know it’s a bad time, but I just wanted to see if maybe you’d be interested. In going together.” He hesitates, then adds, “After.”

Kurapika doesn’t even look surprised, which is… kind of awful. He’s just looking back up at Leorio, totally blank, assessing. Probably weighing pros and cons or whatever. Then he says flatly, “No.”

“Oh,” Leorio says. It sucks, but really, he should’ve known. “Okay.” Then his mouth gets the better of him, and he says, “It’s just that I thought we had something, you know? You’re pretty great, when you forget to be so uptight, and I figured it might be nice--”

_“Can’t you be quiet?”_ Kurapika snaps.

“Yeah!” he says, and it’s too much really, he’s gonna regret this later. “I can! I just don’t get it! You kissed me first! I don’t know what you wanted from me, did you-- Did _I_ do something? You’ve been avoiding me for over a year! Then suddenly what, you get to have your one night of fun and it’s back to just leaving me on read?”

_“You_ invited me to _your_ room!”

“I wanted to _talk to you!_ I wanted to _see you,_ and know that you’re all right, that you’re still alive!”

“Why are you always so loud?” Kurapika demands, glaring up at him, and he splutters, because that is _absolutely_ unfair.

Before he can say anything about it though, Kurapika is stepping back, swinging the door open and jerking his head. “Come in, then.”

He steps in, and Kurapika shuts the door behind him with a pointed clang, is staring at him like he’s an unwanted pest, some cockroach that crawled in and needs to be gotten rid of. That’s some kind of bullshit.

Leorio glares back and says, “You’re being fucking _awful_ to me right now, and it’s really pissing me off. What’s _with_ you lately?”

“Nothing that concerns you.”

“Tough luck, because I’m _fucking concerned!”_

“Don’t be,” Kurapika advises him, tone flat.

“Sorry for thinking of you as a friend!” Leorio snaps at him, and Kurapika hisses something under his breath. _“What was that?”_

“Nothing!”

“Keep it to yourself then!”

Kurapika’s eyes glint, just a little hint of brightness before he visibly pulls himself back, taking a breath and holding it, before he says, voice tight, “Did you come here for a reason, or are you just wasting my time?”

“Don’t be _such_ a fucking _prick.”_

“I didn’t invite you here,” Kurapika says.

“You let me in to talk, so you know there’s something to talk about, “ Leorio informs him. “Don’t pull that shit on me.”

Kurapika’s expression stays set and stony. “You would’ve caused a scene.”

“Is that what it is? I’m _sorry,_ do you have a _reputation_ to uphold? Do you even want to talk?” Leorio demands. “Because I can go.”

Kurapika points to the door, expression hard. “Then go.”

He’s gotten a bad kind of reckless. Doesn’t hesitate to call bluffs anymore. Leorio glares back at him and says, “No.”

Kurapika scowls, then drags a hand over his face. “What’s the point of this?” he says. “When are you going to be done? I have many other things to attend to.”

“I’ll be done when I’m done! I’ve been trying to reach you for the past year, you can take five minutes to talk! Can I just. I have a couple questions, okay? About last week?”

“You can ask,” Kurapika says, with a little edge to his voice.

Leorio sighs. Fucking idiot. “Look, I’ll make it easy for you. Yes or no questions. Can we do that?”

“Yes.”

Leorio eyes him, and Kurapika just stays where he is, folds his arms. Prick.

“Fine,” Leorio says. “All right. Thanks.”

They stand there in silence as Leorio tries to figure out what to ask first. Kurapika is motionless in a way that makes it clear he would be fidgeting if he didn’t think it’d be a complete waste of his time. 

Leorio frowns at him, at his perfectly still hands, then says, “Are we still friends?”

Kurapika’s eyes flick up towards him for just a second, huge and aghast. Then his expression smoothes over, and he says calmly, “If you like.”

“What does that mean? I’m asking _you,_ of course I’d like. But are you friends with me?”

Kurapika is holding himself so rigidly tight that his hands are shaking. Like every word is hurting him, he bites out, “Against my better judgment, I consider you a friend.”

“The fuck does that mean!”

“It means what I said.”

“That wasn’t a yes or a no.”

“So I’ve already given you more than you asked for,” Kurapika says snidely, and he is _impossible_ to deal with like this, and Leorio would turn and head right for the door if that wasn’t exactly what he wanted.

“Did it feel good?”

Kurapika hesitates, mouth working, breathing gone shallow. Then he says quietly, “Yes.”

“Do you… Would you want to do it again?”

“No.”

“Because…?”

“I have my reasons. Leave it at that.”

“Do you even like me?”

“Don’t ask me that.”

“Why not?”

“I…” he begins, then shuts his mouth.

Leorio groans. “This again? Come on, just like. Something. Just something I can at least try and work with.”

Kurapika is silent. “I don’t want to lie to you.”

“The hell do you mean, _‘don’t want to lie’?!”_ Leorio shouts at him. “If you want to lie, then you’ll just do it! The fuck wouldn’t you lie about?”

“Is _that_ what you think of me?” Kurapika snarls back, taking the two short steps forward that bring him face-to-face with Leorio. “I have-- You have _no_ idea what I’ve done! I have learned and _broken_ more laws than you have even dreamed of! I have bribed and coerced and stolen and _looked the other way_ when I saw worse done! I have _done_ worse! _But I have not lied to you!”_

_“So what’s your problem?”_

“I am not going to lie to you about this!”

“Just say ‘no’ if that’s what it is!” Leorio shouts back at him. “What, do you think I’m a drag and you’re just putting up with me because we were in the exam together that one time? Are you trying to _‘spare my feelings’?_ You self-righteous dipshit! Like you’re shy about telling people what you think about them!”

“I am _judicious_ in telling people what I think of them!”

“What the hell are you being judicious about _me_ for? Are you _afraid_ of something?! What is it, do you-- do you have a _crush on me_ or something? Are you scared of being _turned down?! Just spit it out already!”_ he says, mouth going faster than his thoughts can catch up, because halfway through, Kurapika completely locked up, then started to step away from him. That’s not right. None of that is right.

“Do--” he says, still trying to put it completely together.

“Be quiet,” Kurapika tells him, voice low, arms folded tight.

That’s not right. The pieces don’t add up. Or they shouldn’t, but somehow. Leorio swallows hard, tries again. “Did--”

Kurapika lifts his head to stare back at him, mouth a thin line, expression furious, the way he gets when he’s trying to not be anything else. Then his lips peel back and he says, tight and clipped, “Don’t. Say. Anything.”

“I’m pretty sure--”

“Either be silent or leave!” He has his shoulders up, jaw tense like he’s bracing himself for a hit. It’s hard to look at him like that.

Leorio folds his arms, looks for somewhere to lean. Nothing. Then he sighs, slumping, and says, “What the hell are you doing to yourself?”

“I’m finishing this,” Kurapika says, voice tight, shoulders forced level. “No matter what it takes.”

“So, you and me…?”

“Don’t be selfish.”

“What, you don’t think I can help you?”

“I don’t want you to help me.”

“Well, I want to--”

“It’s not about what you want. I won’t let any of you put yourselves at risk for me again.” 

“You know we’d do it again. For you.”

“I can’t!” Kurapika says sharply, then takes a deep breath. “I _can’t_ do it again. Not like Yorknew. Not ever again.”

“Everyone got out fine,” Leorio says. “Or, you know. Fine-ish. You got the worst of it, out for like days.”

“Gon and Killua were taken _twice.”_

“Yeah,” he says reluctantly. “Yeah, but they’re scrappy kids.”

“That has _nothing_ to do with it. I shouldn’t have-- They could have been killed!”

“But they weren’t,” Leorio offers. It’s… shit. It’s a shit response. 

Kurapika’s not even looking at him anymore. “We were all very lucky,” he says quietly. “That’s all. By all rights, we should not all have made it out alive.”

“But we did.”

“Gon and Killua almost didn’t.” Leorio winces. “And I cannot expect to be so lucky again. How could I live with myself if I let that happen?”

“How could any of us let you run off and get yourself killed on your own?” Leorio demands. This guy’s just being a stubborn asshole, as usual. “You think we’re fine with _you_ in danger?”

“It was my own doing,” Kurapika says. “It’s _my decision.”_

“You think we’re not making a decision too? We decided. I decided!”

“It’s not so simple as that.”

“What’s hard about it?”

_“Everything._ Why should I ask you to take this risk for me?”

_“Not everything’s about you, Kurapika!_ We had our own reasons! Helping you was a bonus!”__

_ __“Nearly dying is not a bonus!”_ Kurapika shouts at him, then visibly reels himself back in. “None of you should have ever been involved.”_ _

_ _“Because you care about us?”_ _

_ _Kurapika just sucks in a breath through his teeth, then looks aside._ _

_ _“If you care so much about us, why won’t you call back?”_ _

_ _Kurapika’s shoulders tense, but he doesn’t answer._ _

_ _“Do you think it’s better that way? Because it’s not better at all for us. I really--” Leorio says, then chokes. He knew it was coming, that horrible knot in his chest, but still. His eyes are starting to sting. He never liked thinking about it, that crushing, waiting uncertainty. _ _

_ _He does his best to keep his voice level, and he likes to think he does a pretty good job. “Listen, when Gon-- When he was sick-- When we thought we were just watching him die, I really--_ _

_ _“I really needed to see you.” And there it is again, that old misery. He doesn’t like it, swallows it back down, and says, “I really needed--”_ _

_ _“Don’t,” Kurapika says quietly. “Don’t.”_ _

_ _“Why?”_ _

_ _“I have many things left to do. If I waver for even an instant, I don’t think I’ll make it through.”_ _

_ _“I don’t,” Leorio begins, voice tight for some reason. He swallows, then tries again. “I don’t think that’s true.”_ _

_ _“I can’t take that risk.”_ _

_ _“All this other shit, and _that’s_ the risk you can’t take?”_ _

_ _“Yes,” Kurapika says, shuts his eyes. He takes a breath, lets it out as his shoulders settles, and when he opens his eyes again, they remain still and dark. “I really can’t. There’s too much at stake.”_ _

_ _“So. What, then? So there’s too much risk, and that’s it, then? You’re cutting us off? You’re just putting us on hold--”_ _

_ _ _“I have to!”_ _ _

_ _“You chose to!” Leorio snaps back at him. “You _know_ we’d help if you asked--”_ _

_ __“No,”_ Kurapika says sharply, and now he’s _pissed,_ eyes wide, mouth tight, spoiling for a fight. “No. Absolutely not. Never again. I said it before, and this time, my answer will not change. None of you should be in danger because of me. Our goals no longer align, so there will be no alliances between us. It’s better this way.”_ _

_ _Leorio watches him, then says flatly, “Because you can’t lose us?”_ _

_ _Kurapika flinches, anger pulling back in, shoulders tightening. But he doesn’t answer. _ _

_ _“What about us?” Leorio says, and it comes out gentle, but it only hurts. His chest and throat and tongue feel raw with it. He settles both hands on Kurapika’s shoulders before he can pull away again, tries not to just pull him close._ _

_ _For once, Kurapika doesn’t shrug him off. He doesn’t even say ‘no.’ After a moment, all he says is, “I am sorry.”_ _

_ _“Will you come back?”_ _

_ _“I don’t know,” Kurapika says, and at least he admits it. Then he laughs, small and uneasy, and says, “Honestly, I never expected to make it this far. I don’t know how much of me will make it back. I’ve already… There’s so much left to do.”_ _

_ _“Well, uh. There’s a place for you. If you want it.” Leorio hesitates, then adds, “Or however much of you makes it back.”_ _

_ _“Thank you,” Kurapika says quietly. “But don’t hold back on my account. It’s best not to expect anything from me.”_ _

_ _“I don’t,” Leorio says, then stops. “I mean. Wow, that sounded bad.”_ _

_ _Kurapika just gives him a small tight smile. “Hardly. It’s the smartest thing you’ve said all night.”_ _

_ _Hard not to wince. That’s just cruel in so many different directions. When did he get so mean? “God, don’t be like this.”_ _

_ _“How should I be?”_ _

_ _“I don’t know. Not like this.”_ _

_ _Kurapika is silent for a moment, then says, “There’s no other way.”_ _

_ _“Are you sure?”_ _

_ _“Yes.”_ _

_ _“Are you,” Leorio begins, has to stop because Kurapika’s looking back at him, tired and bleak and dead-set on whatever it is he’s doing. And because for an instant, despite it all, the flat line of his mouth, his steady hands and level shoulders, his clenched jaw, there’s a little flicker of fear._ _

_ _Leorio swallows, but his voice still come out tight and uneven. “Are you really?” he says. “Are you really sure?”_ _

_ _Kurapika inhales slow, holds it, then lets it out just as steady. Leorio tries not to hold on too hard. This is it. This could be it. Despite everything, he really lets himself hope this is it. _ _

_ _Then Kurapika drops his gaze and says, “You should leave.”_ _

_ _“So you don’t want me to kiss you?” Leorio says._ _

_ _“No,” he agrees, then slowly, so slowly, he reaches up and gently removes Leorio’s hands from his shoulders and lets them drop. “I don’t.”_ _

_ _“Well,” Leorio says, stomach sinking. “Okay.” His hands feel strange, empty. He swallows hard, then says, “So uh. I’m leaving day one. And then you’re in the next group, a few days after, right?”_ _

_ _“Yes.”_ _

_ _“So how do you feel about all… this?” he says, gesturing to the boat around them. Or the whale-thing that’s a boat. Or whatever it’s supposed to be. “Never really got a chance to talk about that, did we?”_ _

_ _“It is a fool’s errand,” Kurapika says, smiling small and tight and bitter. “But I suppose it has to be done by someone.”_ _

_ _“Lucky us, huh?”_ _

_ _“Yes,” Kurapika says dryly. “Extremely.” After a moment, he takes a deep breath, hands fidgeting once before he forces them still, then lifts his head. “I would like you to survive this.”_ _

_ _“Hey, thanks. Me too. Well, for you. I really… I hope you do, too. You’re smart, you’re tough. I’m sure you will.”_ _

_ _“Here’s hoping,” Kurapika says and he-- Nothing about him says he believes it at all. He looks up, and their eyes meet, and they are not gonna talk about it at all._ _

_ _“Well. If everything goes to shit, but we still make it out… you have my number. Look me up.”_ _

_ _“Thank you.”_ _

_ _“Don’t thank me for anything yet.”_ _

_ _“Thank you,” Kurapika says again, looking right at him.”For everything.”_ _

_ _“I haven’t _done_ anything,” Leorio says._ _

_ _“You’ve done enough. More than.” Kurapika reaches past him to open the door and swing it open, a not-very-subtle suggestion that he should leave._ _

_ _Fine. “Well. I’ll see you later, then?”_ _

_ _“Goodbye, Leorio.”_ _

_ _Leorio stays where he is, looking down at him. Even his boring expedition clothes look expensive now, and he’s a teeny bit taller, a lot older, but mostly he looks small and tired and worn. Like a hollow copy of himself. He used to have all that fire inside him, back in the exam, at Killua’s place, in Yorknew, but now it’s just. Empty._ _

_ _Whoever Kurapika was when they first met, it’s like he’s not even there anymore. It’s like he’s already gone._ _

_ _He can’t take it. Just one half-step and he’s got both arms around Kurapika, pulls him tight. Just a few more minutes. Just another couple seconds. Just a little more time. Kurapika, for some reason, doesn’t fight it. Doesn’t hug him back, but doesn’t break away either._ _

_ _“Stay safe,” Leorio manages, eyes already stinging as Kurapika lets him have it for just one second more, then pulls away, pushing him back with one hand._ _

_ _“You as well,” Kurapika says, out of arm’s reach now as he readjusts his sleeves, then, “Get out of my room.”_ _

_ _He does, quickly, and the door shuts behind him._ _

_ _Stupid. It’s stupid! It’s stupid to be crying over someone who won’t be doing the same for him. No point in trying to stop though, so he just scrubs his eyes with one sleeve and tries to make it back to his room as fast as he can._ _

_ _That’s it, then. They leave at the end of the week._ _


End file.
